As I mentioned in my previous post, I had a wonderful long conversation with my mother on Friday. Actually, I had another with her on Saturday, but it was Friday's conversation that is relevant to this post.
My mother suffered from what today would be diagnosed as clinical depression for several years when my sister and I were little. Back then, it wasn't called anything, because nobody ever spoke of it. Especially not in the church, because good Christians didn't get depressed. On the bright side of this farce, it meant that Mom was able to beat her depression without drugs or therapy (because non-Christian therapists would have told her it was her religion that was making her depressed, and there also weren't any Christian therapists back then).
So, whenever I start struggling with--I won't call it depression, because having seen depression up close and personal as a little kid I know I don't have that--discouragement and despondency (gosh, "d" must be the saddest letter in the alphabet), I call Mom. I know that she will take me seriously, and I also know that she always has good strategies for beating depression, or in my case, preventing discouragement from sliding into depression.
All this to say, she gave me some extremely helpful advice on Friday. She said to ask myself what it is that I need to not be depressed--not what am I lacking, because that's another negative, but a positive. What can I strive for. (Yes, I know I ended that sentence with a preposition.) For her, it was contentment. She needed to find a way to be content before she could climb out of her depression.
So I thought, and the first thing that came to mind that I want--need--is peace. To be peace-filled. Not to have my outside surroundings be peaceful, although that would be lovely. But I need to have peace within me, to not stress over so much, to not worry, to not fret, to be calm. At rest. Peace.
At this point, I don't know how exactly to go about gaining that. But that's okay. Mom said knowing what you need is as important a step as trying to acquire that trait. So I'm asking God to show me how to be filled with peace, and I'm actively seeking throughout my days to find that which encourages peace. And, of course, to eliminate those things, as much as possible, that steal my peace.
It is a start.
After all, is not Christ known as the Prince of Peace? Who better to ask for a peace-filled spirit than the very author and perfecter of peace.
The Wright Brothers
4 hours ago
5 comments:
I too had to learn to pray for peace within. It's not something you think about needing really, but we all need it. I think it's our human nature to be discontent, and we must have the Peace of God within us to get past that. In turn, that gives us contentment, patience, understanding, and hope. I'll be praying for you.
Divine, delightful, delicious, darling, dear, daughters, devoted . . . there are some cheerier d words to focus on if you like!
I was diagnosed with GAD in my second year of university. Mine was chiefly circumstantial; the worst of it passed with the completion of my second year, and now I only experience about one panic attack every year, which I am able to see coming and stave off thanks to some techniques recommended by my (gasp!) psychologist at the time.
It does seem to be something that is shunned as a topic of discussion (ooh, another good d word!) in Christian circles, doesn't it? Or worse, they tell you it's all dietary or demonic (okay, that last one is not such a nice d word) and only if you prayed more or got to church more or ate the right foods . . . not to completely discount diet as a contributing factor, but there is no way it is the only one.
*tries to remember initial point of comment*
Yes! Reassurance! *hugs Louise* I am not the author of Peace or even the giver of it, but I know you know Him, and I know He loves you and most importantly, I know you know it too.
Is there anything particular you would like to see in the way of a one-shot Narnia fic? I am nearly done with KC and if there is something that might give you comfort, it would be something I'd like to work toward :)
Oh wow, I can't even begin to say how touched I am that you would consider writing a fic with me in mind. I can't think of anything right off the top of my head ... I always adore Lucy fics, of course; she is such a sunshine-y person that just reading about her brightens my outlook. Or, well, anything, really. I'm not terribly fussy :)
your mother is so wise.
and knowing her merry self, i never would have guessed.
i do think LMM had it right when she wrote about Anne as someone who keenly experienced highs and lows, because I know i have had true depression in the past, though i think few people would guess it looking at me. i think many women are like that.
despite the benefits of Christian therapists and perhaps, more openness, the Solution remains the same. i am thankful your mother came out of her depression and i know that you too will climb out of the valley only to see the most beautiful view from the hilltops.
(i think you're right about poor "d" too.)
love you!
wv: minglers- hey, that's a real word!
btw, Andrea mentioned another good d word: discounts!!! :)
also,
donuts
ducks
dabbling
daffodils
done
dad
daytime
dolphin
dynamic
etc!
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