Ramblings on Theology and Love

When I was a teenager, I (like most teens) was pretty sure I had all the answers.

Except not about things like boys or future plans or anything like that.

Nope, where I had it all down was theology. I grew up spending family vacations at Bible Conferences (for which, by the way, I am still grateful, and which I still think was just about the best possible way to spend a family vacation, especially when one of those conferences was always held near the ocean so we could enjoy the beach at the same time we were learning about God - awesome), and so by the time I was sixteen, seventeen, I knew more theology than a lot of adults. My friends and I used to joke about making and trading preacher cards like baseball cards - "Oh, you have a Carson? I need that one - I'll trade you a Reisinger and a Theobald for it!"

We were decidedly not the cool kids. But we knew our theology. I could tell you all about the differences between Covenant, Dispensational, and New Covenant theology by the time I was thirteen.

And I'm not knocking any of that. I love the fact that my parents exposed me to so much good teaching when I was still so young, that I've had such a marvelous foundation upon which to build.

But as my teenage years slip further and further behind me (and thirty rapidly approaches - when did this happen and how did I miss it?), I find that my passions and priorities have shifted. It is no longer quite so important to me to preach NCT everywhere I go. I still hold (although more loosely now) to the basics of Calvinism, but I would not identify myself as a Calvinist.

One of the finest churches I've attended was a church that did not call itself Reformed, and yet the love that the congregation showed to each other and the world surpassed that of any Reformed church I've ever seen.

I've seen a lot of ugliness, a lot of pride, in the circles that I grew up in. Maybe it was always there and I just didn't notice it because I was a kid. Maybe I was a bit too full of pride myself to see it. But when a man is ostracized from the theological community because he is exploring a different view of limited atonement ... not even that he is denying the effectiveness of the atonement, just looking at some different ways of understanding it ... well, I lost heart, and lost a bit of faith in the beauty of our beliefs.

I still have passions spiritually, but they have shifted. I don't see myself ever losing my passionate belief in God's sovereignty. It affects every breath I take; it shapes my view of the world and of myself; I don't see how I would have the courage to live without that belief. Our God is the sovereign ruler of the universe; I do not, and have not, ever questioned that.

To love the Lord our God, and love our neighbor, does not, I think, mean clinging to the belief that we have the only true theology. It doesn't mean spurning fellowship, or looking down upon, those who view things differently. It can be okay even for Calvinists and Arminians to worship God together. That doesn't mean we can't have our theology, or even that we can't engage in healthy debate. But it does mean that love and respect should underly our every thought, word, and deed. It means that instead of condemning the world (which already stands condemned, really, and doesn't need help from us in that area), we should seek to show Christ's beauty and grace. Yes, most will reject it. That doesn't mean we stop showering it upon them.

To live justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God. In its context, Micah is talking about what the Lord wants of his people - not elaborate and empty sacrifices, but a heart turned toward him. How God wants us to live is so simple (although so very difficult to live out - impossible without the Holy Spirit and grace).

Justice.

Mercy.


Humility.


Love.

Not all the right answers. Not the perfect theology that scorns those who disagree. (And those in the opposite camps of which I grew up are just as guilty - this is not an indictment of NCT, or Reformed theology in general. People with bad (ha ha) theology can be just as proud and stubborn as those with good.) A proud heart of any sort is despised by the Lord. Hateful speech, haughty attitudes, unloving hearts and actions - those are what displeases him. Not a few ideas that got tangled along the way.

Before I end, I want to say that there were and are still people in those circles I mentioned earlier who exemplify this. Along with examples of good theology and pride, I have set before me examples of good theology and gracious love. I would still rather have good theology and a loving and gentle heart than bad theology and those. But I would rather have bad theology and a loving and gentle heart than good theology and pride and ungraciousness.


The older I get, the less and less convinced I am that I have all the answers. God is so huge; I don't really think my human mind and heart will ever be able to fully comprehend all his facets. At least, it will take an eternity of perfect fellowship with him to get there.

But love, Love in the form of Jesus Christ, who became a human to save us from ourselves - ah, that I can see and respond to. And in looking at him, there really is no more room for pride in myself and my knowledge.

The only proper response to Love ...

Is to love.