Psalm 1

Psalm 1

Blessed is the man

who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

nor stands in the way of sinners,

nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

but his delight is in the law of the LORD,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree

planted by streams of water

that yields its fruit in its season,

and its leaf does not wither.

In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so,

but are like the chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement,

nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;

for the LORD knows the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked will perish.

Verses 1-2

-The Hebrew word for law (torah) primarily refers to instruction from God; it is not solely given to the five books of Moses, but all of God's revelation.

-To meditate on God's word wholly does not necessarily mean setting aside one particular time for study each day, but to live an entire life that is turned God-ward, to reflect on his Word and his law throughout the entire day. Not that having a specific time to study each day is bad, but it should not encompass all one's mediation on God, nor is the only way to have a right relationship with the Father.

Verses 3-5:

-Trees, in wisdom literature, are often a metaphor for wisdom. This tree is not a wild shoot growing somewhere in the desert, but rather one that has been deliberately planted by life-giving water.

-The promised prosperity does not necessarily refer to great wealth (I suspect this is a modern, Western mindset that automatically transfers "prosperity" to "financial benefit"), but rather to God's blessings on word and deed. The righteous person's prosperity is not a reason for living a godly life; rather it is a by-product, another gracious gift from God.

-The wicked do not have the same hope or wisdom; they are here for a moment, then gone. How blessed are we who are in Christ, who are covered by his righteousness. We have assurance that we will stand in judgement, not because of anything in ourselves, but because of his work on our behalf.

Verse 6:

-The Lord watches over his children; he knows their hearts and their ways; he loves, guards, and guides them. The wicked have no such hope; their path leads only to destruction. Yahweh brings his children to life.

Reflections on Wisdom:

-True wisdom begins and ends in the Lord. A person cannot be wise apart from Yahweh. He might be wise in the ways of the world, but none of that matters biblically. Adam and Eve thought to gain wisdom from eating the forbidden fruit, but true wisdom lies in trusting and obeying Yahweh. It is an opposite mindset from the world's: there we are told that wisdom comes in thinking for oneself and making ones own decisions. God tells us that is folly, because only he is the source for the deepest and truest wisdom.

-Wisdom does not consist, primarily, of following a set of rules and ethics. Wisdom comes in devotion to the living God, in living every area of life with one goal in mind: loving and pleasing him. Ethics and laws can help guide us, but only a heart turned toward God can make the right choices.

-Biblical wisdom calls for a response: one who hears God’s call to follow and answers, who sacrifices his own life to live the life God desires.

-Biblical wisdom opens the door to living in imitation of God. “Creation unfolds the manifest wisdom of God. Everything coheres in him and through him. Because he is one, there is one way of living in coherence in this world - the way of God.” The wise person sees how God cares for his creation, both the world and its people, and responds in kind.

-Biblical wisdom submits to divine revelation. In love for the Lord, the godly person finds fullest freedom in obeying God’s law. He does not obey out of fear of punishment, but because he recognizes that God’s law shows the best way of life, and the best way to please the Lord.

-Biblical wisdom is blessed by the Lord. Though the godly person may suffer for his godliness here and now, the Lord will always be his companion and guide, and will lead him to eternal life at the end of time. God’s promises are always true and trustworthy; he will not abandon his children.

-Biblical wisdom depends on God’s guidance, love, and favor. The godly despise the attitude of self-reliance; rather, they are aware of their own weakness and pray to God to bring them help and strength. The wise are vigilant in temptation, guarding against sin in their own hearts.

The Psalms acknowledge the cost of a life that follows Yahweh, but they also recognize that in the end, the benefit far outweighs the cost. True wisdom comes, not from ignoring the danger, but by putting it in its proper place. Living for God will be difficult, but the rewards are beyond comprehension.

(I have started studying the Psalms recently, and wanted to share some of my thoughts from them. I doubt I will be doing posts for every Psalm, but you can expect to see a few, at least. I am indebted in this study to The Expositor's Bible Commentary on the Psalms.)

What a Wonderful World ...

This week has been unseasonably warm - yesterday was 71 (F), so the girls and I promptly went outside to enjoy this last little bit of warmth and sun.

This year was promising to be spectacular color-wise, but then we got some torrential rains, and all the brilliance dulled. I still like it, though; the muted colors make me feel warm and cozy. Every time the wind picked up yesterday, the girls and I were surrounded by a whirl of tiny old-gold leaves.

We may not have much for a yard, but I have become very adept at searching out beauty that is hidden in tiny places.

The nursery's fruit trees that line our porch took a long, long time to turn color, and many of them are still green, but the ones that have turned are a lovely red. I love the leaf's veins in the above picture. Looks like a spidery map!

This is from the bush right by our front steps. I was struck by the fact that the leaf was cracked almost entirely across, yet it still held together. A metaphorical lesson in there somewhere, I am sure.

Gracie wanted so very, very badly to take off down the steps and explore. I wished I could let her, but the nursery is still open for business, and cars are still going in and out of the parking lot. I did hold the girls' hands so we could walk around a bit, but that wasn't the same!

Faded gold leaf against solid brown tree bark. Love the contrast between colors and textures.

I took this one across the parking lot, over in the "grasses" section of the nursery. With the sun behind them, making them glow, they were just beckoning me. I usually try to stay out of the way when they are open for business, but this time I had to sprint over and snap a couple shots.

Another from the front bush. With the dulling of colors, the reds have almost turned purple. Beautiful.

The shower of leaves covering the evergreen bush made me think of snow - golden-brown snow! Sounds like something you would get in Lothlorien.

A few brave, stubborn blossoms still hanging on from summer. Another metaphor in there, I'm sure!

Today it is grey and rainy (again), and we are nice and cozy inside, but the little bit of sunshine and warmth yesterday made for a nice interlude in the midst of autumn!

In Memorium

It's amazing what can make the memories stir and emotions swell.

This morning, it was a simple mention of Waitsfield, VT in an article about B&Bs. That's where Grammie lived, I thought, and surprised myself by blinking back tears.

It's been years since my great-grandmother died. Long enough that I don't even remember the exact year anymore.

Oh, but I remember the smell of the hospital when we went to visit her while she was in a coma. I remember the memorial service, listening to everyone share their memories. I still remember the sick horror we felt when we first heard about her stroke. I remember the tremendous sense of loss that my younger cousins would only have vague memories of Grammie Straw.

Lis and I were luckier than most. Gram lived with us for a few years, while Mom was working. She taught us how to play cards - we still sometimes play Crazy Eights, just because it reminds us of her. She was always loving, always patient, always gentle, and would tolerate no unkindness or rudeness.

This winter or spring, my grandmother is going to be moving into the house next to my parents'. When we go home to visit Oma and Grandpa now, the girls will also get to spend time with their great-grandmother.

She is always loving and patient with her great-grandchildren. She is gentle. She will not tolerate rudeness or unkindness. She loves to play cards and put together puzzles. Sometimes Lis and I almost forget she is our grandmother, because we just have so much fun hanging out with her. There is always laughter when Gram is in the room.

Someday, I hope, my girls will be talking to their children about their great-grandmother, about how wonderful GG was. And their children will look at their own great-grandmother, my mother, and they will see all the same traits in her as in the stories of GG. (Except cards. They bore Mom; she only plays to humor her family.)

And then, inevitably, the years will go on, and someday it will be my turn to be the great-grandmother, and if my great-grandchildren, years after my death, can be flooded with good memories just at the name of the town where I used to live, I will be satisfied.

Sometimes, the best legacies are the intangible ones. The best family traits are the ones passed not through genes, but through experience.

Grammie Straw's name has been passed down to me, and now to my daughter as well. More importantly, her character qualities have been passed to each succeeding generation, and will continue to be for many more to come, so I hope and pray.

To Be Like Him

I've been hearing a few peeps, off and on, from the girls' room, but so far neither of them has made enough noise for me to feel the need to get them up. In fact, it's perfectly silent up there right now, which makes me think that they've maybe fallen back to sleep yet again.

Oh, bliss.

Don't get me wrong, I love my girls, but when I start hearing Grace before six every morning, and when Joy comes and crawls into bed with me the instant Carl gets up to take his shower, and then there is never one moment when I am not with at least one of them until they are in bed at night ...

I get exhausted.

I love cuddling with Joy in the morning. I was always a cuddler, and I was so sad when my first baby hated to snuggle. Grace liked it at first, but as soon as she was old enough to be mobile, she would only cuddle for a few moments before wanting to be exploring. So I am thrilled now when Joy comes and wants to snuggle in bed before we get up for the day.

But still.

I understand why moms who work say they are better mothers than they would be if they were home with their kids all day long, and why mothers whose children are in school love their quiet time in the middle of the day. I know that if I had a few more breaks from my kids, I would be less cranky with them. I am ashamed to admit it, but it is the truth: sometimes I just get sick of being mamma constantly.

I have been told this gets better as they get older, even if you don't send them to school. Certainly Joy is a little easier to be around these days: she speaks, she is out of diapers, she loves to play by herself, she can even help me with some things around the house.

And yet. She talks constantly. And I love it - but it's exhausting. She follows me around, which is sweet until I need to step back and then I trip over her. I still never get a moment just to be; even when she's on the couch for quiet time I still have to keep an ear out for her.

Sometimes I feel like our Lord, trying so hard to get to a quiet place, to escape the crowds for just a little while, just so he could rest. Yet they followed him, always, and he always had compassion on them. Unlike me, who lets my frustration with never having a moment's peace spill out onto my family, he never got angry, never told them all to just go away, never showed any resentment. He had mercy and grace, because instead of seeing people who were trying to take over his life, he saw people who were desperately in need of his mercy and grace, who needed him so badly that they could not stay away for even a moment.

I'm choking up as I write this, because this wasn't how the post was supposed to go. This was supposed to be a simple post in gratitude of my time of quiet this morning, and instead I am finding myself asking God for forgiveness in falling short in love toward my family. Just thinking about the love Jesus showed to the masses - the people he knew were going to be calling for his crucifixion later - shows me again how selfish my heart is. O Lord, give me that kind of selfless love, that looks at my children and doesn't see a burden, but instead sees two hearts that need my love and attention.

I'm not saying, here, that having time to oneself is unnecessary or bad. I'm not saying it is always a sign of selfishness. Certainly it is a good thing for weary mammas and papas to have time to recharge their batteries, and I am still overwhelmingly grateful for this unusual stretch of quiet time this morning.

But in the writing of this post, I have realized that, for me, this is less about needing time to recharge, and more about needing to shift my priorities. Instead of seeing my girls as burdens, I need to see them as they truly are: gifts from God. What a blessing it is, to have two little people who love me so much, despite all my flaws, that they want to be near me all the time!

And one of those little people is awake, so I am going to end this with a thankful heart, thankful both for the time this morning to put things in better perspective, and thankful for this marvelous opportunity God has given me to show sacrificial, Christ-like love to two of his children.

Grace Thoughts

I have had many thoughts tumbling through my mind lately - thoughts on social justice (thank you, North & South!); thoughts on bullying (why, for all this country's preaching on "tolerance," has bullying in all forms, to ANYONE who is "different" in ANY way, only gotten worse?); thoughts on twisting an author's words and beliefs to justify your own position in a fanfic (oh Narnia, how you are abused); thoughts on adoption (O Lord, so many, many suffering children in this world - why can't there be homes for them all?); thoughts on the cliques that form in the blogging world (Twitter: allowing one to be ignored by even more people than before).

And I'm also trying to figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

I don't have answers to all - or any - of life's ills. I can't tell you how to find a balance in society, so that everyone receives justice. I can't tell you how to stop children and adults from being cruel to each other. I can't keep pseudo-writers from abusing an author's works. My hands are full with the two childrenI have; maybe someday I can adopt, but even then I can't heal all the broken-hearted children out there. I certainly have no idea how to stop cliques from forming anywhere, online or in real life.

But, I do have one Answer that, in some way or another, covers all these. The only Answer that gives hope, gives justice and mercy, brings life and love to all who seek.

One Answer. One man. One God-become-flesh, revealed in the living Word.

"All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11: 27-30)

"So Jesus said again to them: 'Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I come that they might have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.'" (John 10: 7-11)

"Jesus answered, 'The most important [commandment] is, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." The second is this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." There is no other commandment greater than these.'" (Mark 12: 29-31)

"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
      the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings." (Hosea 6:6)

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
        and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
     and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8)

I may not be able to change what other people do. But I can walk with my God, and do my best to show him to a sorrowing and dying world.

In the end, it's the best answer I could give.

(Now, on to what to make for dinner ...)

Sharing is Caring

With great trepidation, we moved Gracie into Joy's room last week. We had been planning on doing so for quite a while, but kept finding reasons to postpone it - Gracie was teething, Joy's final molar was making her cranky, the girls had colds and were coughing at night ... we finally, almost impulsively, just did it. Carl took apart the crib and re-built it in Joy's room, with help from Grace (it's too big to fit through our doorways in one piece).

(Of course, Gracie's method of "helping" mostly involved dragging wipes packs all over, but she still had fun hanging with Papa.)

And we explained to Joy that now Grace was going to be sleeping in the same room, which she thought sounded very fun. In fact, they were both excited when, after we sang our song and everybody got hugs and kisses, we didn't separate - Joy and I to her room, and Grace and Papa to her room, for bedtime stories. Instead, everyone stayed in one room and Papa read them both a story.

(Joy loves giving Grace goodnight kisses, but Grace still isn't too sure about the ritual.)

(Grace also wasn't too sure about sitting still for one of Sissy's long stories!)

Aside from the second night, where Joy woke up coughing, which led to Gracie waking up and cheerfully joining her, which led to Carl and me listening to fake coughs and real giggles over the monitor for an hour - at 2:30 am - there haven't been any problems. None. The girls really seem to enjoy being in the same room. In the morning, when Gracie goes down for her nap, I just bring Joy's snuggly blanket and stuffed animals down and tuck her in on the couch. She never sleeps anymore anyway, so a little rest on the couch suits her just fine.

Gracie sleeps better in the morning, now that she's not awakened by Carl's alarm and him going through her room to get downstairs every morning (the room she'd been in is between our bedroom and the hall), and we no longer have to tiptoe through at night so we don't wake her up when we are going to bed.

That extra room is now the library/playroom, and the girls love that, too, having one special room set aside for books and coloring and puzzles, etc. It also keeps their bedroom and the living room (which used to be where they would play) much cleaner, and I LOVE only having one room to pick up at the end of the day instead of three!

My sister and I had our own rooms until we moved when I was nine and she was twelve. It was a hard, hard transition, especially given our respective ages and vastly different interests, but we persevered and became better friends in the end (and also learned something about co-existing). My hope is that by sharing a room now, whenever and wherever we move throughout the years, if it happens to only have two bedrooms, they will be fine with sharing, and they will have tighter bonds because of all those moments together.

Judging by the giggles that issue from their room most mornings, or the rare afternoon that I put them both down in bed for a rest, they are already becoming better friends for it.

(I'll try to put up some pictures of the playroom soon - I took those on the big camera, and I haven't had a chance to upload pictures from that onto the computer yet.)

Riverdance on Ice

I tried to take pictures. I really did. I thought of all of you, and wanted pictures so you could feel you had been there too. Especially since our seats were incredible - close enough to the ice that we could see everyone's expressions, both skaters and dancers.

There was just one problem. I had brought my little automatic because I knew my SLR wouldn't fit in my purse, and because we were seated so close to the ice the spotlights were at just the right angle to completely confuse my poor little camera - even with the flash it didn't want to take anything clearly, and without the flash it was impossible.

See?

The dancers 

The skaters 

Pair spins 

The musicians

So I'm afraid you're going to have to rely on words to see it all. Oh, or you could just watch it on NBC February 19!

Anyway. Taking my sister's (always excellent) advice, we left about an hour earlier than we had originally planned, so as to have a bit more time just to walk around downtown Lowell and maybe have a real dinner instead of concession food. I'm so glad we did, because despite being an old industrial city (which, when we were living in PA, always equalled HORRIBLY DEPRESSING), Lowell is beautiful.

 In front of St. Anne's Episcopal Church - stunning.

We ended up discovering La Boniche, a cafe/bistro, and eating there. The food was incredible, the service was great, and the atmosphere made us feel like we were in NYC or Boston or something urban and classy. I was so, so glad you guys all helped me decide on Outfit #4 - I actually felt like I belonged there! We ate at the bar (we didn't want to take too much time and have to run back to the arena. I love my boots, but they are not built for running), and the bartender, when he found out we were in town for Riverdance on Ice, mentioned that Nancy Kerrigan had been in an hour earlier.

Of course she was. We didn't find this out until the show started, but Nancy and Michelle Kwan were the tv hosts!

That's Nancy in red, Michelle in blue. Nancy's dress was very awesome in person. And according to the bartender, she's a really nice person.

And then there was the show itself. Oh, the show. Anybody who's visited this blog even once ought to know my love for figure skating. Not as many of you might be aware that I took a couple years of step-dancing lessons when I was around seventeen/eighteen. I fell in love with the style - the speed, the grace, the power and control - everything about it. I watched Riverdance on video and hoped that maybe someday I could see the show live. Then I sort of forgot about it, pushed it away with all the other "wouldn't it be awesome if ..." dreams.

Saturday night, my biggest difficulty was trying to decide which to watch, the skating or the dancing. Everything was incredible. The dancers were ... unbelievably good. Fast - oh my word, there were times I expected to see smoke coming off their shoes. Perfectly timed, perfectly controlled, there were times I thought my heart might leap out of my chest, and other times I wasn't sure I would be able to keep my feet, even in my decidedly non-dancing boots, from jumping up and joining them in the dance.

And the male lead dancer - not only was he amazing, he looked like he was just having the best time out there. He had the biggest grin on his face the entire time; each whoop, while it was part of the dance, seemed to also just come from the grand time he was having; heck, we could even see his eyes twinkling. I've never seen someone who just looked so happy to be doing what he was. It made him even better to watch.

Then there were the skaters. Laura, I did almost get emotional when Joannie Rochette came out, but she herself was so poised, so graceful, that tears just seemed superfluous. She is a delight to watch.

I was pleased when I found that instead of the British ice dancers, American pairs team Amanda Evora and Mark Ladwig were there. Not that I've anything against the Kerrs, but I've been a big fan of Evora and Ladwig ever since the Nationals last year, and I still think they were robbed of their rightful marks at the Olympics. Both of their routines were exquisite, and confirmed for me that American pairs skating is most definitely on the rise again!

Michael Weiss, as always, was sheer power and fun. He skated to some of the more powerful male dance routines, and was the perfect complement to them. Oh, and toward the end he did a little duet with Shae that had me in tears. But more on that later.

I am not a huge fan of either Sasha Cohen or Jeffrey Buttle, but even they were enjoyable to watch. Sasha's music was perfectly chosen to suit her ethereal yet sparkling personality. Jeff - well, every time I watch him I want to yell at him; "If you'd point your toes and stand up straight you might be able to complete one move cleanly!" And then I realize that I've turned into Dick Button, sans the bow-tie. Seriously, though, Jeff has so, so much talent, and such really poor form, that it drives me nuts to watch him. However, they even played on that reputation of his, when he and Steven Cousins did a duet to match the "dueling dancers" part of Riverdance - step-dancing versus jazz. It was one of the highlights of the show, and one of the routines that caused me to bruise my hands from clapping so hard!

Steven - well, I joke so much about my "crush" on him (that smile! It gets me every time!) that it's actually hard for me to write anything serious about him. I will simply say that he was brilliant and charming, as always, and he choreographed the entire show, for which I say THANK YOU.

Emily Hughes is now a full-time student at Harvard University, and still skating competitively. I smile and smile every time I watch her skate - she is so full of life and fun!

Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto are owed an enormous debt by the skating world, for they have made ice dancing accessible and enjoyable to everyone, not just rabid fans like me. The "oohs" and "ahhs" throughout the audience as they skated would not have happened for any dance team ten years ago, because very few people could really appreciate ice dancing. So thanks, Tanith and Ben, and also? You guys were awesome.

And then there was Shae-Lynn Bourne. Shae-Lynn, who with her partner Victor Kraatz paved the way for teams like Tanith and Ben. Shae-Lynn, who skated to Riverdance twelve years ago in a routine that has become as iconic as Torvill and Dean's Bolero, and changed ice dancing forever. I saw that Riverdance program when Dad and I went to the '98 Worlds. Saturday night, when Shae came out and recreated part of that program, to the live music, with the actual dancers on stage behind her ... when she and Tanith and Ben shared some of the steps ... when she and Michael slung their arms over each other's shoulders and danced that most famous section from the middle of that iconic routine ... well, the only thing that could possibly have made it better would have been if Victor was still skating and he and Shae could have done that. Which probably would have just about killed me, so maybe it's just as well he wasn't there. Tanith and Ben may have popularized ice dance for everyone, but Shae? Shae is magic on the ice.

You might (though probably not) have noticed that I haven't mentioned Todd Eldredge yet. He skated in the opening number, and then nothing. I was starting to think that maybe he had an injury that was keeping him from doing any solos, and was disappointed but glad he was at least there for the group numbers (because Todd has been one of my favorites ever since the '96 Worlds, which was the first time we were actually able to start watching skating on tv and so were able to follow it as obsessively as we wanted). Then he finally came out, for the final solo of the night (I might or might not have hit Carl's arm and gasped "THERE he is!" - the excitement had been building all night, so drama just seemed natural by that point). He was phenomenal, well worth the wait. I think his might have been the best solo of the night, he so perfectly captured the step-dancing. His footwork, the hands on his hips, the lightness with which he flew across the ice ... it was just perfect. And of course, his spins. Nobody spins like Todd (except maybe the Swiss, but they tend more toward drama, while Todd is sheer controlled power exploding into his spins). Breathtaking. 

I don't know if they will ever repeat this show, or if it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I hope that it becomes an annual event - and if it does, Carl and I are definitely going back. Out of all the ice shows I've attended over the years, this has become one of my favorites (right next to the very first Stars on Ice I ever saw, which was magical in an entirely different way). It was easily the best date Carl and I have had in the six years we've been married (for both of us). Yesterday was a little tricky, recovering from the lack of sleep and coming back down to real life after that euphoric high - but it was worth it.

Feb. 19! It won't be the same, watching it on tv, but it'll still be grand!

(Hey, don't you guys think NBC should hire me as their official blogger for all skating events? Seriously, I'd be perfect for the job! And if they'd let me backstage to interview all the skaters after each show, well, that would just make the reviews all the more entertaining.)

It's the Weekend!

My bags are packed ...

My camera is ready ...

My outfit is planned down to the jewelry ...

The girls are excited about their afternoon/evening with Grandma ...

The tickets are printed ...

The maps are ready ...

And I feel about sixteen again, getting ready to go see a show like this.

Thank you all for getting excited with me about this - I may be "old" now, but it's nice to be able to show my enthusiasm for something I love and have my friends join me instead of telling me to "act my age!"

I will hopefully have a post up tomorrow or Monday with details from the show. In the meantime, I hope you all have wonderful weekends!

I plan to.

October Hike

Glorious sunshine

in October

 Is like opening

Christmas presents

In mid-January

Unexpected Joy

(Pictures 4, 6, 7 & 8 taken by Carl)

And the Winner Is ...

Outfit #4!

It was a close race, but in the end, #4 squeaked out ahead of the competitors. Taking people's advice, though, I decide to maybe try it with the red scarf as a belt (I did try it as a headband, Laura, but it's so long that it hung down ridiculously in the back and looked like a tail! and my head is the wrong shape to wrap it around more than once; the coils just slid off).

Yes? No? And the red lipstick? (Which I still haven't gotten a picture of)

And I am now thoroughly sick of putting pictures of myself up on here. Feels so narcissistic.

Ahhh ... much better

Fashion Help, Please!

I don't think I've mentioned on here yet about my super-exciting Christmas present from Carl. If I have, forgive me the repetition.

Next weekend, we are leaving the girls with his mom for the night, and the two of us are going to see Riverdance on Ice! How perfect is that for me ... figure skating and step-dancing, all in one package! Plus, you know,

(Kidding, Carl! Kidding!)

Actually, I'm more excited about seeing Shae-Lynn Bourne than any of the other skaters - you see, I had the privilege of watching her and Victor Kraatz skate their famous Riverdance routine live at the '98 World Championships (they were so robbed! They should have had the gold!). And now I get to see her skate to Riverdance again, twelve years later. It seems very fitting.

I'm pretty pumped about getting to see Joannie Rochette, too.

Anyway. My only dilemma (besides a lurking fear that the girls will be miserable the entire time we're gone) is What To Wear. People don't usually get too dressed up for ice shows ... but hey, it's a date with my husband if nothing else, and I'd like to get a little dressed up for it.

So, this weekend I got dressed up in my top outfit choices, Carl agreed to act as photographer (which resulted in both of us howling with laughter), and here, for your opinions, are the choices:

Outfit 1:

Outfit 2A:

Outfit 2B:

Outfit 3:

Outfit 4:

My personal leaning is for Outfit 4, and that's the one my sister voted for, as well. She recommended it with a funky necklace, but unfortunately, I only own thin, delicate necklaces. So it's plain or nothing (or one of the other outfits, naturally)!

Also, I bought my first red lipstick in over ten years yesterday ... and then bought a tube of pink, also, in case I chickened out. What do you think? Red lipstick or pink?

(How did people plan outfits for special occasions before the invention of blogs?)

These Babywearing Days

It is "International Babywearing Month" over at Adventures in Babywearing and it got me thinking about just how much Carl and I wore - and still wear -  the girls. Our first carrier was the Baby Bjorn, purchased for us by Mom and Dad, as they remembered how much they used their sling. It wasn't the most comfortable carrier, but for a baby who had colic the first three months of her life and insisted on being held constantly, it was a lifesaver. 

Joy loved cuddling up to Papa's chest on our walks that winter.

About nine months, facing out to see the world

We got the backpack carrier for hiking, because that is our #1 favorite thing to do outside as a family. Joy loves it so much that she still likes riding in it when her legs get tired, and it means that we can do hikes beyond a three-year-old's level.

Southern Adirondacks - definitely not something you can do with a stroller.

We got the Moby Wrap when I was expecting Grace, and knew I wanted something more than just the Baby Bjorn. It was the perfect carrier for us - a little awkward to put on and take off (SO MUCH FABRIC), but comfortable, breathable, and she loved it. Carl still preferred the Baby Bjorn, but I loved my Moby.

 Brand-new Baby Gracie, just a couple days old and snuggling in (and trying to nurse my neck).

Grace around a week old, sound asleep on a walk.

 Around three months, an autumn hike.

We just barely ordered a second backpack carrier, now that Grace is sixteen months and definitely too heavy for the Moby. This afternoon will be our test run - Joy in the old carrier, and Grace in the new, one for each parent. And even though Joy is three, and mostly prefers to run everywhere on her own now, and Gracie does her best to keep up with big sister, I foresee us continuing to wear them whenever and wherever it works best for us, despite other people's raised eyebrows and muttered comments. Because it is a delight. To be able to keep our children close when they are tired or sick? To know that we can go anywhere without concern for a stroller? To see them run and explore the world, and return to us when they are ready for a break?

Oh yes. We could not do without this.

Writing Update

This morning, I sat down and faced the hard truth: Out of the current five chapters I have written in my latest Gwen story, four have to go.

I suspected something was up when I couldn't bring myself to post anything past the first chapter on ff.net, but I've been busy with plumbers and sick children and cleaning up after the plumbers, and it wasn't until today that I was able to really think about it.

They're not terrible ... they're just bland. There's no conflict, no inward struggle, nothing at all except some fun banter and description of clothes. Snore.

Gwen is seventeen. She's been awkward, clumsy, and gawky her entire life, and even though she's learned some control, and a certain amount of poise, she can't have suddenly grown into a graceful, elegant woman. Not to mention that seventeen is a difficult age for a girl anyway - not fully an adult, but no longer a child (Britney Spears, get out of my head).

But instead of capturing this, I've inadvertently written Gwen as (almost) fully mature and beloved by all. AHHHH MARY SUE!!!!

And so. There you have it, the reason there have been no updates to Gwen's story on ff.net. Everything Must Go! (Well, everything except Chapter One.)

And Sunrise, I haven't forgotten my promise of a Prydain story - I just haven't had a chance to sit down and start working on it. If Gwen keeps being stubborn, I might abandon her for a little while (sorry, Adrienne and Connie!) and turn to fantasy for relief. 'Cause that never gets frustrating (ha ha).

In original story-related news, I finally finished the long summary of "The Elder Sister," and am procrastinating writing the short summary and query letter. I'm waiting on a couple books on the Renessaince period for research, and once they arrive and I've at least started reading them, I should be able to start working on my next fantasy, which is still untitled.

So many projects ... so little brain cells!

A French Mindset Toward Life

This weekend, I read through "French Women Don't Get Fat," and while I didn't agree with all the author's ideas and tips, I did find that it helped shift my way of thinking about life in general. (Besides being marvelously anecdotal about life in France, which I adored. After reading "My Life in France" by Julia Child I was ready to pack up and move there - quite a feat for this Anglophile. I still think I would rather live in Great Britain, but ah France, home of my ancestors ... I will visit you someday.)

The key to staying thin, so Guiliano claims, is to be sensible of what you eat. Not sensible as in practical, but sensible as in the opposite of senseless - mindful, aware, thinking. (There are other keys as well, but this one is the biggest - or at least that's what I took away from the book.) Ask yourself why you are eating, think about the food, pay attention to it, savor it in small portions so that your senses are not dulled by the sheer mass. Slow down and enjoy it, rather than simply eating without thought. Go for quality rather than quantity; one piece of exquisite chocolate is far better than a dozen cheap candy bars.

What I appreciated about this mindset, even more than the simple practicality of it (and the fact that it plays into the portion control I have been attempting in my own weight management goals), is how applicable it is to all areas of live. Slow down and savor life, take it in small doses instead of trying to cram everything in, use all your senses to engage in whatever task you are performing instead of doing five to a dozen things at once. Enjoy whatever it is you are doing, instead of thinking about all the other things that you need to accomplish next.

Multi-tasking is supposed to be an integral part of an American woman. I hate it. I think that multi-tasking is one of the worst things a person can do, and if one's life is so busy that one has no other option, then I am sorry for that one. Naturally, there is a certain amount of multi-tasking that a stay-at-home mother must do - no matter what else you are doing, a portion of your mind has to be on your children. But as much as possible, oh I think it is so much better to focus as much of your attention as you can on a single task at a time.

Often I listen to music while I am writing blog posts, and while I enjoy that background noise, this morning I am typing in silence (well, aside from my interjected conversation with Joy as she eats her breakfast beside me). And I find that I am able to think more clearly, write more sharply, than I usually can when music is playing. Instrumental music isn't so bad, but any music with words automatically demands more of my attention. By leaving the music off altogether, I am able to savor the simple writing of this blog post.

Saturday night after the girls' bath, I rubbed them with the usual lotion, but instead of rushing through it so I could hurry and get them ready for bed, I slowed down and focused on the basic act of massaging their arms and legs, rubbing their bellies and backs. Gracie sighed and stopped wriggling for a few moments. Joy beamed up at me. In those moments, when we were so connected, we all bonded more closely together. Just through the normal, everyday act of putting lotion on after a bath.

It's a surprisingly simple thought, to slow down and savor life. And it's surprisingly difficult to implement, especially here in America, where speed and quantity are valued above almost all else. But even in the last two days, it has proven such a rewarding way to live, leaving me calmer and more content, helping me to be more present in the moment, to connect more with my children and husband, and above all, to see God in even the most mundane of tasks, that I believe it is worth pursuing.

Slow down. Simplify.

Savor.